A Resolution or a Goal...

I used to think that making a New Year's resolution was dumb because nobody ever keeps them going for more than a month.  Well, I have learned a lot in this past year about personal growth and development.  I think I realized why resolutions rarely work for anyone.


Typically a resolution is a vague statement: "I am going to be healthier."  "I am going to save more money." 

The problem with these resolutions is that there is no way to tell if or when you have reached what you are looking for.  Let me help you set a goal for next year and better yet; help you reach your goal.

Here is one way to start:
1. What do you want?
2. When do you want it?
3. What are you willing to give up to get it?

The most important thing to remember is to be as specific as possible.  Once you answer these questions you can then make it into a goal statement.  Here is an example:

1. I want to increase my savings account by $6,000.
2. I want to do this in a year (by 2013)
3. I will stop eating out for lunch and put 1% more of my paycheck in my savings

This is the statement I would make from these answers.  It is best to put it in the present tense because then when you read it, it is like it has already happened.  Trust me; it makes a difference.

It is January 1, 2013 and I have have added $6,000 to my savings account in the past year.  I did this by being disciplined in my spending by not eating out for lunch and putting 1% more of my paycheck into my savings account.  It feels great to have accomplished this goal!

Here are my tips on how to better improve the likelihood of you accomplishing your goals:
- Write out your goal statement and hang it up somewhere (like your bathroom) and read it out loud every day.
- Break down your long term goal into smaller short terms goals.  This way you don't have to wait a whole year to feel proud of yourself.
- Read your goal to someone you trust so they can keep you accountable and on track.

I really hope this helps you.  If you want more help please ask.  I am here to help you.  Just remember that you can do it and YOU are worth it!  Happy New Year!!

Tis the season...

of giving, reflection of the past year and making the change.

I was cleaning and organizing this weekend and when I went downstairs to put clothes in the community laundry I saw a few boxes with signs on them for the food pantry.  I thought to myself, "that is nice; I wish I had something to give."

Coincidentally, I was cleaning out the pantry.  As I was cleaning out the pantry and finding food in there that had been in there a while, I was reminded of the boxes in the laundry room.  I decided to put a few cans and boxes in the wash basket.  As I was doing all of this and deciding what to donate I also recalled a short video of Dani Johnson I had watched earlier in the year called, "War on Debt."  I was reminded to simplify my life.

As I was going through the pantry and putting some food in my basket to donate, I was looking at expiration dates on the foods.  I ended up throwing out a few cans of food and and some other miscellaneous foods.  One of the things I learned from Dani Johnson was to not overbuy.  This goes for food at the grocery store and clothes at the department stores.  I realized that the food I was throwing in the garbage wasn't just food; it was money that I was throwing away.  Have you ever thrown expired food away?  How about found clothes you have never worn with tags on them still?  All of this is money you are throwing away.

The great thing about all of this is that I was able to donate to those who are less fortunate, remind myself what I need to do to stay on the road to financial freedom and, of course, clean up.  For those of you that are wishing you could donate, but don't have the money, this is perfect for you. 

My recommendation:  Clean out your pantry and give away some of the food to a food pantry.  Anything that you have to throw away because it is expired, realize that it's money you are throwing away.  I would seriously considering purchasing "War on Debt" because it can really help you get on a good path.

What have you done this holiday season to help yourself or others? 

Part 1: Principle 3: Arouse in the other person an eager want.

"Tomorrow you may want to persuade somebody to do something.  Before you speak, pause and ask yourself: "How can I make this person want to do it?'"

So how would one go about this...hmmm...?  Now, read the quote again.  If you actually do this, it will help you take your time and think about the other person.  Have you ever heard that everyone's favorite subject to talk about is themselves?  So if you start by talking to the other person about them or what they want, you will build a relationship.

The question you might be asking yourself now, is: "What if it is a stranger or somebody I don't know?"  If this is the case, start by asking the other person questions.  Have you ever hear of the "F.O.R.M." technique?  Family, Occupation, Recreation, Money or Message (depending on who you ask).

God gave us two ears and one mouth for a reason.  We should listen more than we speak.  So this next week, let's focus on listening and really getting to know people.  You may find a new friend or maybe you will find yourself learning more about your current friends and/or family.  Enjoy listening! :)

Part 1: Principle 2: Give Honest and Sincere Appreciation

"Dr. John Dewey said that the deepest urge in human nature is "the desire to be important.'"



 What a bold, yet true statement.  So in the simplest terms, if you want to get someone to do something for you, make them feel important.  How do you make someone feel important?  Appreciate them!  You can't just do it to blow smoke though.  You have to actually mean it!

"We often take our spouses so much for granted that we never let them know we appreciate them."

This statement really hit home for me.  I really like this statement because you can interchange the word, spouse for brother, sister, mom, dad or even friend. 

One of Jarrod's (my husband) "jobs" in the house is to do the dishes so I can get to work on business or volleyball right after dinner.  He does dishes so often that sometimes I go a whole week without saying "thank you" to him for doing the dishes.  Even though dishes are pretty simple, it is something worth appreciating.  If you really think about it; isn't it the small things that are done all the time, the things that make our lives easier.  It is easy to thank someone for a gesture done out of the ordinary, like a gift, because it is unexpected.  But doesn't everybody do that.  We are trying to be unlike other people.  If you are the only one at work saying thank you on a reagular basis, do you think you might be the first to get a raise or a larger bonus...?  It may not, but this is something so easy to do and also easy not to do.  Therefore most people don't!  What if this did work...?  This may not get you the raise or the bonus, but it is a start; and if you start small and grow from that, the next thing you do might be the tipping point for what you want.

Make a concious effort to make this change.  It will make you feel better :)

Part 1: Principle 1: Don't Criticize, Condemn or Complain

"Any fool can criticize, condemn and complain - and most fools do.  But it takes character and self-control to be understanding and forgiving." 

Really take a moment to think about this very first principle because it is powerful.  In the past few months I have been really focusing on being positive and saying positive things to others and to myself.  It wasn't until I read this chapter that I really realized that even though I am being more positive, I am still being negative because I am criticizing others and complaining about them.  And most of the time it was to myself, which I think can even be worse than saying it out loud because then it is just stewing around in my head.


Since reading this chapter I have caught myself complaining about things and criticizing those around me.  And I do it A LOT more than I thought I did, which means you probably are too.  Realize this though, it may not be all of your fault.  Think about what you brought up around.  Most likely it was complaining and criticizing.  Men are stupid, My boss is an idiot, Why can't people learn how to drive... Do any of these sound familiar to you?  Look in the mirror...do you really like what you see (hear)?

Now, this isn't something that you can change over night.  Trust me, I still complain and criticize.  So how can you get on a better path?  Take the time to really realize what you are saying.  How often are you criticizing someone?  How often are you complaining about someone or something?  And when you criticize, condemn or complain, does that really change the situation?

Check out this article that really puts it well and illustrates the message of this principle. "Don't Occupy Wall Street"

I would love to hear your thoughts!

"How to Win Friends & Influence People" - Dale Carnegie

I don't know about you, but I can defenitely say I do not like to read or maybe I should say I didn't like to read when I was younger.  When I was in middle school and high school I wasn't a big fan of reading and I think there are 2 main reasons why.

1- Neither of my parents read much.  And I don't ever recall seeing a book in their hands.
2- When I did read, it was because I was "forced" to for school (and for those of you that don't know me, I don't like to be told what to do).

When I started college I always remember saying, "I wish I liked reading, I just don't like it."  And I think I felt that way because I was starting to realize that reading really does make you smarter.  To be honest, I didn't read much more than I had to in college either.

So where am I now?  I still have a hard time reading and not dosing off, but what I have found is that I LOVE reading when it is my choice.  I have always loved learning new skills, facts, information...so really I knew this was going to be one vehicle to help me learn.

I started a side business not too long ago and I found that reading personal improvement/development books are really what I like.  These books are going to be the ones that help me succeed as a business woman, a coach and maybe most importantly as a wife.

I have just started reading "How to Win Friends & Influence People" by Dale Carnegie and what a great book so far!  This book will be my main focus for this blog, but more than that this blog is just going to be a journal for my thoughts.  I welcome your comments, so please do let me know what you are thinking.

It would be really cool too, if you bought this book and read it at the same time as me because then we can compare notes.  And even though I have already started, I am somewhat of a slow reader so it won't take long for you to catch up.  I know you will love this book :)

~ Michelle's Mind

I'm Back and Better Than Ever! :)

To those of you who followed my last blog; Thank you!  My last blog was about making lifestyle changes to improve your physical health and sharing what I was doing.  I am happy to report that I am still living that lifestyle and it feels great!

This blog is going to be about another lifestyle change.  This change is not necessarily a change, but more of a modification of how I go about my life on a daily basis.

My Goal:  To give you a different outlook on life

I have been reading some amazing books, going to trainings and listening to audios for a while now and it has radically changed how I approach my life and you will see that throughout this blog.

I will be posting updates on books I am reading and what I am learning while I am reading.  I will also be sharing what I have been learning with the trainings and audios I have been going to and listening to.

I appreciate your comments and you sharing this blog with your friends and family that you think could benefit from a little bit of change :)

Let's Begin...